Great article. The part on alcohol is really important.

The answer is not to suppress masculinity. Our biological urges aren’t going anywhere. We can’t turn into this “New male” that you speak of. Every single boy that is born is born with the masculine tendencies of our ancestors.

Our masculinity needs to be recognised, respected and then redirected. Not shamed and suppressed.

Men need to understand their capability for violence and then decide not use it. That’s why those proficient in martial arts are less likely to get in a fight. It’s men who’ve never been in a fight who feel that they have something to prove.

The Gillette advert you mentioned (Which shows a father breaking up a play fight between two boys), suggests that the answer is to suppress masculinity. No fighting kids. But boys need to fight. Boys and men need to test the boundaries of their physical capabilities so that they can understand where their limits are and then choose not to cross them.

And here’s a dark truth that needs to be told and you will never hear spoken about by feminists. Women find men capable of violence deeply attractive. Because just as men evolved to be aggressive in order to survive in the ruthless environment of our past, women also evolved to find these behaviours attractive.

Women don’t like men who have suppressed their masculinity. Sorry. And this is a side of the toxic masculinity discussion that seriously needs to be discussed. Men know this fact instinctively. And when it’s ignored, it leads to them disregarding the entire concept of toxic masculinity.

The real solution for men is to understand your capability for violence, then control it and direct it.